Realizations are a bitch

Well.. over the last month I have realized that finding a job, even as a nurse, won't be as easy as I was hoping, or as I expected. I feel like there is a clock ticking away and I'm running out of time! So stressful!

My absolute dream is moving to New York, but the licensure thing is definitely throwing me for a loop. I just don't know if I'll have time to get all that done before someone wants to hire me. I've been applying all over. With all kinds of care: oncology, home health, med/surg. Crazy, crazy, crazy.

I have to say, though, that since I have made this lovely announcement, people have been so great about helping me: offering me a couch to crash on, I even have one person who is trying to help me get a job at her hospital: Sloan-Kettering. It's a legit place, lemme tell ya!

I don't know. I would love to get the hell out of dodge as soon as possible, but I don't know if that will be tangible. I keep closing my eyes and seeing myself hopping on and off the subway--which, by the way, after this snowpocalypse, I ABSOLUTELY NEVER WANT TO HAVE A CAR AGAIN. What an effing story.

Let's go down that road for a second, because it's just ridiculous. So basically, this picture is what happened to my car. I went to clinical that day, being the good little student that I am, and watched as the world slowly turned completely bleak and white. I finally left at about 4, so my day was only 9 hours, because if I hadn't, I would have spent the night. And people, that was the LAST thing I wanted to do. So I bundle up, go to the employee lot which is 1093857102398 miles away, and what do I find? The snow plows have boxed me in. EFF. So then, I traipsed back the 1093857102398 miles back to the hospital and batted my eyes at a dude with a caterpillar so he could dig me out.

I then proceeded to have a heart attack the whole way home because I couldn't see but 5 cm in front of my car. I finally made it to little 42nd street, and tried driving down Booth Place. No dice. Stuck. So I parked on 42nd, thinking "I'll move it when the plows come by". Turns out 42nd is an emergency snow route, though there are ABSOLUTELY NO SIGNS, and my car was towed. THEN, I go down to the shadiest tow lot on the freaking planet to retrieve Baby Jetta, pay the 180 bucks, and try to go on my not-so-merry way. I then find the car shimmying at 60mph: my alignment got fucked by the hooks on the truck. So THEN, I had to pay another 260 to have my alignment fixed and rods replaced since they had been bent. Fantastico.

Needless to say, my blood was boiling for about 5 days.

But back to the situation at hand: New Yaaawwwkkk and jobs, yes. So... basically I will take wherever will hire me at this point. I am trying my hardest to do what I really want, but that may not happen right away, and I'm kind of ok with that. I've applied for about 10 jobs so far, most at Shawnee Mission here in KC. I applied for a couple Home Health agencies in San Francisco, Denver, and I think Chicago, Sloan-Kettering in New York, a couple of Home Health agencies there I think... Everywhere basically.

Being a grown-up is definitely not all it was cracked up to be. 10-year-olds of the world: heed my words. Stop wishing for it.

Ah how things change

It has been awhile. Last semester was the craziest, most stressful period of time I have ever experienced. Believe me, I am so glad it is over. Though summer is here, I am still taking classes, which blows, but at least it's only one class: Peds. I love kids, but I don't know about sick ones. It's so hard to see them, you know? Little kids are supposed to run around and be happy and have fun, not be in a hospital fighting for their lives, or to be so disabled that their quality of life is shot to hell. I took care of a patient today that had some pretty severe developmental delays, and he was so sweet. I loved taking care of him, but at the same time, his whole situation broke my heart. We will see how this rotation goes. I have a feeling it is going to be extremely hard, but at least it's only for 7 weeks.

I didn't end up adopting a dog to my dismay. Gabriel, my wonderful, funny, smart, fantastical dog of 14 years died in May, from which I am still recovering. I get less motivated to study for tests every day, though I should probably start preparing for the NCLEX. Becca and I are planning to move somewhere big next year and start brand new lives as kick-ass nurses. Life is good right now. Busy, but good.

In other news: went to Europe for a couple of weeks, had a blast, and am planning to go to Minneapolis to see a friend in a few weeks. ALSO, I found out about an opportunity to go to Africa to provide health care, and I would absolutely LOVE to go, so I am trying to raise funds in my name to Mercy and Truth, which is the organization that plans the trip. I hope it happens because that would be amazing.

Almost done!

It's that point in the semester where I don't want to do anything. Ever. It's right before thanksgiving break and I'm just so worn out from the semester. I just finished making cupcakes for my friend Amber's birthday today, and am bringing them to class tomorrow. I love being Susie Homemaker. It's really fun. Minus the cleaning. My God, I hate cleaning with a fiery passion that transcends all time and space, but I love how things look when they are clean. Weird. Anyway... I am in the third week of OB rotation. I have learned a LOT, good and bad, about people in general.

I was talking to Shanna about this earlier: there is one preceptor, who shall remain nameless, who actually said that she hated having students because 'they don't know anything and they don't know what they are doing'. That just pisses me right off. Seriously? YOU were in our position at some point in time. It may have been over 100 years ago, but you have to still remember how we feel. We are still getting used to the whole hospital thing, and we aren't trying to be pains in your ass, so stop treating us like we ruin your day because we are trying to learn from you. AND, you shouldn't even be precepting in the first place. Some people baffle me. My clinical instructor is really awesome, and I've learned a lot from her. Life goes on, and Thanksgiving break is a week away. I can't freaking wait!!

Marathon training is going pretty well. My feet keep getting "piggy back" blisters, as I call them, meaning: I get a blister, and then a blister on top of that blister and so forth until I have a giant, ugly callus on my arch. HOW does that even HAPPEN?! The running is really good though, it clears my head. Other than that, nothing much is really happening in my life. I'm kind of seeing someone, but I guess you wouldn't really even call it that. I guess we are "talking". He's a really nice guy, and I guess we'll see where it goes.

... and that's the news from Lake Woe-Be-Gone. I hope your fall is going well, and Happy Thanksgiving!!