And so this is Christmas...

Since I actually HAVE time now, I think it's time for a little reflecting.

This past year has been so fantastic, it's hard to put it into words.

Let us begin: I lived in freaking SPAIN for four months of my life. I learned things there about humans and about myself that I never thought I would, and that I can't even articulate. I learned that I can handle things on my own, that I'm not directionally challenged anymore (mostly), and that I CAN live away from my family and still be ok. I realized that I want my life to be something amazing. I want to be able to tell my kids and my grandkids about my escapades. I don't want to sit idly by and watch as the world changes around me anymore. I want to be part of that change now.

I started nursing school this fall. Let me tell you it is definitely difficult. Nothing I can't handle mind you, but it's mentally taxing in a way that I didn't expect. I am really excited to be learning about things that I can teach. I am excited that I will be able to give people the help that they need at the most basic level. I am excited that I am gaining a larger and larger wealth of knowledge every single day.

Another thing that I realized extremely recently (and this is totally off-topic... kind of) is that weight loss is hard! Shit! I mean, I'm not overweight by any stretch of the imagination, but I weigh about five pounds more than I'd like, and I just can't seem to get it off, especially with the holidays and all their goodies. I don't know. Sometimes I just want to say "to hell with this shize! I like food!" and then I realize that attitude probably isn't the best for weight maintenance OR weight loss for that matter. It also blows my mind that every year it gets easier to gain and harder to lose. And that, my friends, is quite discouraging. I am coming to accept my body for what it is though. I have given up trying to look like Giselle, but let's be honest: it would be pretty fabulous to have her body. Not because all the guys want to bang her brains out, and definitely not because she probably doesn't eat but once every three days. She (and most models, let's be honest) looks good in ANYTHING, and it pisses me right off. Oh well. I have found the clothes that flatter me, and I try to eat well and exercise like I should. Things are plowing right along.

The greatest achievement, though, isn't mine this year. It's my brother's. I'm so proud of him. He just got back from a study abroad stint in Italy and France, and he had the time of his life. I'm so happy for him. A year ago, even nine months ago, I was pretty worried about the guy. He always comes into his own, just a little later than everyone else. He's never quite sure of himself until he proves his own adequacy, and this semester has done that for him. He's finally become an independent entity, and I couldn't be happier. He still gets discouraged sometimes, and has expressed that he feels like my shadow a bit, but of course that is completely untrue, and I am proud to call him my brother.

So instead of focusing on the negatives of 2009, let's live in the now, and look onward. What's passed is passed. We can't change it, we can't rewrite it. We can only hope to learn from it and move on with our lives. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, whatever your religion or beliefs, let's come together and celebrate the fact that we've all lived another year, that we all have something to be thankful for, and to look forward together.

To 2010: may we learn, may we grow, may we live.

thanksgiving

is three days away. i cannot even begin to describe my excitement.

Almost done!

It's that point in the semester where I don't want to do anything. Ever. It's right before thanksgiving break and I'm just so worn out from the semester. I just finished making cupcakes for my friend Amber's birthday today, and am bringing them to class tomorrow. I love being Susie Homemaker. It's really fun. Minus the cleaning. My God, I hate cleaning with a fiery passion that transcends all time and space, but I love how things look when they are clean. Weird. Anyway... I am in the third week of OB rotation. I have learned a LOT, good and bad, about people in general.

I was talking to Shanna about this earlier: there is one preceptor, who shall remain nameless, who actually said that she hated having students because 'they don't know anything and they don't know what they are doing'. That just pisses me right off. Seriously? YOU were in our position at some point in time. It may have been over 100 years ago, but you have to still remember how we feel. We are still getting used to the whole hospital thing, and we aren't trying to be pains in your ass, so stop treating us like we ruin your day because we are trying to learn from you. AND, you shouldn't even be precepting in the first place. Some people baffle me. My clinical instructor is really awesome, and I've learned a lot from her. Life goes on, and Thanksgiving break is a week away. I can't freaking wait!!

Marathon training is going pretty well. My feet keep getting "piggy back" blisters, as I call them, meaning: I get a blister, and then a blister on top of that blister and so forth until I have a giant, ugly callus on my arch. HOW does that even HAPPEN?! The running is really good though, it clears my head. Other than that, nothing much is really happening in my life. I'm kind of seeing someone, but I guess you wouldn't really even call it that. I guess we are "talking". He's a really nice guy, and I guess we'll see where it goes.

... and that's the news from Lake Woe-Be-Gone. I hope your fall is going well, and Happy Thanksgiving!!

Thanksgiving challenge

This year I'm going to be disciplined. This year I WILL NOT overeat. I am not about to put on the 5+ pounds that I've lost this year (I'm a small person and wasn't really overweight to begin with, so those five pounds were HELL to lose.) and I'm in the best shape i've eve been in. I'm going to do whatever it takes to not overeat: drink tons of water before and during, exercise before, only eat tiny amounts of desserts, and by all means stay AWAY from the food when i'm done.

i have discovered that i'm a "bored eater". if there's food there, i'll probably nibble on it because it's there. i don't even have to be hungry. this is why i have such trouble keeping on my diet when i go home. my mom keeps all kinds of snacky crap around the house and i'm ALWAYS tempted to nibble on things. except it turns into full blown extra meals because of the amount of nibbling. so this year, i'm going to set goals and i'm going to follow them. this year will be different, but i'm still going to have a slice of that amazing pumpkin pie.

i hope you all have a terrific thanksgiving. i know mine will be awesome. i'll get to relax and spend time with the fam, even take a small break from school before finals hit.

peace, love, and turkey grease!

Maria