And so this is Christmas...

Since I actually HAVE time now, I think it's time for a little reflecting.

This past year has been so fantastic, it's hard to put it into words.

Let us begin: I lived in freaking SPAIN for four months of my life. I learned things there about humans and about myself that I never thought I would, and that I can't even articulate. I learned that I can handle things on my own, that I'm not directionally challenged anymore (mostly), and that I CAN live away from my family and still be ok. I realized that I want my life to be something amazing. I want to be able to tell my kids and my grandkids about my escapades. I don't want to sit idly by and watch as the world changes around me anymore. I want to be part of that change now.

I started nursing school this fall. Let me tell you it is definitely difficult. Nothing I can't handle mind you, but it's mentally taxing in a way that I didn't expect. I am really excited to be learning about things that I can teach. I am excited that I will be able to give people the help that they need at the most basic level. I am excited that I am gaining a larger and larger wealth of knowledge every single day.

Another thing that I realized extremely recently (and this is totally off-topic... kind of) is that weight loss is hard! Shit! I mean, I'm not overweight by any stretch of the imagination, but I weigh about five pounds more than I'd like, and I just can't seem to get it off, especially with the holidays and all their goodies. I don't know. Sometimes I just want to say "to hell with this shize! I like food!" and then I realize that attitude probably isn't the best for weight maintenance OR weight loss for that matter. It also blows my mind that every year it gets easier to gain and harder to lose. And that, my friends, is quite discouraging. I am coming to accept my body for what it is though. I have given up trying to look like Giselle, but let's be honest: it would be pretty fabulous to have her body. Not because all the guys want to bang her brains out, and definitely not because she probably doesn't eat but once every three days. She (and most models, let's be honest) looks good in ANYTHING, and it pisses me right off. Oh well. I have found the clothes that flatter me, and I try to eat well and exercise like I should. Things are plowing right along.

The greatest achievement, though, isn't mine this year. It's my brother's. I'm so proud of him. He just got back from a study abroad stint in Italy and France, and he had the time of his life. I'm so happy for him. A year ago, even nine months ago, I was pretty worried about the guy. He always comes into his own, just a little later than everyone else. He's never quite sure of himself until he proves his own adequacy, and this semester has done that for him. He's finally become an independent entity, and I couldn't be happier. He still gets discouraged sometimes, and has expressed that he feels like my shadow a bit, but of course that is completely untrue, and I am proud to call him my brother.

So instead of focusing on the negatives of 2009, let's live in the now, and look onward. What's passed is passed. We can't change it, we can't rewrite it. We can only hope to learn from it and move on with our lives. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, whatever your religion or beliefs, let's come together and celebrate the fact that we've all lived another year, that we all have something to be thankful for, and to look forward together.

To 2010: may we learn, may we grow, may we live.