July 19, 2011

Momentous Moments

There are two things that happened this weekend that made my life.

1. My dear friends Ben and Lindsay, also known as LinzyJo married each other this weekend. I couldn't be happier for the two of them. They are absolutely perfect for each other. Lindsay was such a beautiful bride, and the whole day was nothing short of wonderous.

I never cry at weddings until the father-daughter dance. Always, always makes me cry. Just because I'm so close to my dad, and I think of how both me and Dad will be bawling like little babies when I get married (one of these decades). I certainly cried at this one. I find that I get a little more romantic and girly about the whole wedding/finding-a-soulmate thing as each wedding passes. I'll probably be the last one to marry, actually. I don't really long to be married, because I haven't found anybody who I think would be worth spending the rest of my life with yet. Harsh? Maybe. To all the guys I've dated: sorry, but it is true. Doesn't mean those guys aren't going to make some lucky girl a fantastic husband one day, I just won't be the girl. Sometimes I wonder if I'll ever get married.

Weddings are so great. Everybody is in such a love-y mood, and you get to spend all day with your closest friends and celebrating one of the biggest events in someone's life. It's just so great I can't even stand it. And it's not a wedding until the flower girl cries, and our little Brooke Pates certainly came through! She was definitely the Belle of the Ball. Forget the Bride, it was all about Brooke. What a little munchkin.

Also, can I please point out, that when you marry the person you're supposed to marry, know that your spouse is also marrying your family and friends. People don't think about that part of things, but it's really true. I am so proud to call Ben an extended member of my family now. He fits in perfectly to my ever-growing circle of close friends. Gives me the warm fuzzies.

Lindsay said the cutest thing to me after all the dancing and getting ready to head off in their beautifully tagged and canned car. She said, "I asked them when it all sinks in, and you know what they said? 'If you're with the one you're supposed to be with, it never sinks in. That's how you know'". I thought that was one of the most beautiful things I'd ever heard. Every day should feel like you're falling in love all over again, I love that. Sap, sap, sap.

2. My best friend in the whole wide world called me today to tell me that I'M GOING TO BE AN AUNTIE!!!!! Words cannot describe how happy I am for her and her husband. And for me. Duh. I can't to be the cool, fun aunt. Starting a family. Holy balls. We're growing up, dudes.

People are moving for graduate school, getting married, having babies. Sometimes I feel like such a worthless piece of crap because I'm just barely graduated, I don't have even a pretend relationship with anyone, I'm nowhere near ready to have any kids. The closest I'll come to any sort of commitment right now is getting a dog.

I'm so flighty and non-commital about relationships. They freak me out. For some deep seeded reasons that I won't mention on a public blog, I've been taught to have a deep distrust for men. No matter now nice, or gentlemanly they may seem on the outside, there's always something dark lurking, and they're just waiting to hurt you. I'm just really afraid of getting hurt. Also, they think with their Johnsons. I can't imagine investing all this time and energy into getting to know someone and all their quirks and habits, and then realize that either it's not going to work out, or to have the other person, who you thought you loved, leave. I would be so heartbroken. I work hard, play hard, and love with an intensity that I can't really describe. For the few people I truly call close friends, I can say that I love them so much that I really wouldn't have a problem sacrificing my life for any one of them. Wouldn't even bat an eye. So you see, if I was to invest in someone, I want to do it right. I really do need to get over that fear of getting hurt. It's not getting me anywhere. Problem is: I don't really know how.

Enough with all the drama, let's focus on the happy things in life: marriages, babies, friends and family. Those are the important things. A toast: that we always remember who we love and why we love them. Amen.


To Lindsay and Ben: may your lives be bursting with fun, love, laughs, adventure, and any other magnificent thing you can think up. I love you both.

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